Well it's time to weigh in, after a week on track.... mostly but with a trip to Frankie and Bennys! And a week of the 30 Day Shred. It'll be interesting to see how my losses do this week. I'm not really expecting a big one to be honest, maybe 2lbs. Need to up my water a LOT, that might help get things shifted because I really don't drink enough. I drink plenty at work but not at home really. Did a 9 hour shift yesterday and doing 6 hours today, surely that burnt off like 20lbs?! Felt like it anyway lol
Well it's time... I better go jump on those scales!
18st 9lbs... 2.75lbs down from last week. It's a good loss but I am a little disappointed to be honest, I wanted to be in the 18st 8lb range as I was 9lb yesterday. Oh well! Lost 1 inch from my hips and half an inch from my waist. Getting there, slowly but surely.
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Day 3 of 'the Shred'
Well today is day 3 of the 30 Day Shred. Not posted in a few days, so will have to do an update from the beginning!
Started the Shred on Monday, took my measurements before hand...
Weight: 263
Bust: 47in
Back: 39in
Waist: 40.5in
Hips: 51in
Arms: 15in
Thighs: 25in
Hopefully, in 30 days they'll all be at least a few inches smaller!! I might try and hold off doing my measurements until the 30 days are up instead of every week.
Day 1 I found a lot easier than I expected to be honest. It was definitely a hard work out, but I got through it all. Bought a Heart Rate Monitor with my tips from Saturday night and turns out I burnt 485 calories during that half hour, way more than I expected! I could do about half the push ups but totally failed at the bicycle crunches at the end, did about 2! Just had nothing left to give.
Day 2 was alright, had a little ache left over in my abs from the day before but got through it ok. It was both easier and harder at the same time! Could feel the burn more because I'd done it the day before, but doing each action was a little easier. Did most of the bicycle crunches at the end this time but flopped on the second lot of push ups, my arms couldn't take anymore!
Day 3 was so so! Was definitely the hardest of the 3 days because I could really feel it from the day before still. Half way through I wanted to just give up, I thought hell I've down 2 days, that's good, 2 and a half will still be good! But I pushed on, even though I didn't think I'd be able to and got through it all. I did much better with the push ups this time, I still didn't do them all though, I think I did 13 first round and 6 or 7 the second round. The bicycle crunches went pretty well, stop for a few seconds towards the end though. I have to do them faster than them, I find that if I'm too slow I find it far more difficult! Only burned 460 calories today, don't think I gave it quite my all like I did the past 2 days but I think I gave it all I had at the time!
Having a major attack of confidence today! There's a guy who has been showing interest in me and has mentioned meeting up for a drink, we've not met before as we've been chatting on Facebook through a mutual friend and then by text. Part of me thinks yeah it would be good to meet him. The other part of me thinks that he'll meet me, think oh I didn't realise that you were so fat and run a mile! He's lost weight himself, I don't know how much, can only tell by Facebook pics but it's at least a few stone. I just know that I'm very picky with my Facebook pics and so I'm not sure they really represent me, they do me too much justice and I'm far fatter than I look in any of them! I think it's one of these situations though where I'm always going to have something undermining my confidence levels and so, unless I want to regret never meeting him, I'm going to just have to bite the bullet and get on with it. I can't wait until I'm another stone down or this size or this weight. My life starts now, not when I reach my goal weight.
Started the Shred on Monday, took my measurements before hand...
Weight: 263
Bust: 47in
Back: 39in
Waist: 40.5in
Hips: 51in
Arms: 15in
Thighs: 25in
Hopefully, in 30 days they'll all be at least a few inches smaller!! I might try and hold off doing my measurements until the 30 days are up instead of every week.
Day 1 I found a lot easier than I expected to be honest. It was definitely a hard work out, but I got through it all. Bought a Heart Rate Monitor with my tips from Saturday night and turns out I burnt 485 calories during that half hour, way more than I expected! I could do about half the push ups but totally failed at the bicycle crunches at the end, did about 2! Just had nothing left to give.
Day 2 was alright, had a little ache left over in my abs from the day before but got through it ok. It was both easier and harder at the same time! Could feel the burn more because I'd done it the day before, but doing each action was a little easier. Did most of the bicycle crunches at the end this time but flopped on the second lot of push ups, my arms couldn't take anymore!
Day 3 was so so! Was definitely the hardest of the 3 days because I could really feel it from the day before still. Half way through I wanted to just give up, I thought hell I've down 2 days, that's good, 2 and a half will still be good! But I pushed on, even though I didn't think I'd be able to and got through it all. I did much better with the push ups this time, I still didn't do them all though, I think I did 13 first round and 6 or 7 the second round. The bicycle crunches went pretty well, stop for a few seconds towards the end though. I have to do them faster than them, I find that if I'm too slow I find it far more difficult! Only burned 460 calories today, don't think I gave it quite my all like I did the past 2 days but I think I gave it all I had at the time!
Having a major attack of confidence today! There's a guy who has been showing interest in me and has mentioned meeting up for a drink, we've not met before as we've been chatting on Facebook through a mutual friend and then by text. Part of me thinks yeah it would be good to meet him. The other part of me thinks that he'll meet me, think oh I didn't realise that you were so fat and run a mile! He's lost weight himself, I don't know how much, can only tell by Facebook pics but it's at least a few stone. I just know that I'm very picky with my Facebook pics and so I'm not sure they really represent me, they do me too much justice and I'm far fatter than I look in any of them! I think it's one of these situations though where I'm always going to have something undermining my confidence levels and so, unless I want to regret never meeting him, I'm going to just have to bite the bullet and get on with it. I can't wait until I'm another stone down or this size or this weight. My life starts now, not when I reach my goal weight.
Monday, 23 May 2011
Update for the week
I haven't posted in my blog/diary for a while, so I'll do a quick update for the week. Overall, the week went pretty well and I stuck to calories. I didn't do nearly enough exercise though, for some reason it just went out of my mind and I lacked the motivation to get on with it. To be honest, not done a huge amount for the last 2 weeks, even though I lost well last week I haven't done so well dropping the inches and I think that could well be because of the lack of exercise. Will have to get back on it!
My biggest news of the week is that I got on to my PGCE course!!! So unbelievably stoked about it! Definitely need to keep on with losing weight for when I start. I don't wanna be the fat girl. I want to be thinner, more confident and make friends more easily than before. I start in exactly 16 weeks today. If I lose 2lbs each week, I will hit 231lbs by the 12th of September, so I'd be 16st 7lbs for the start of my course and my birthday 2 days later! Now, I'd like to lose more by then but I don't want to push myself for a harder target. But if I'm upping my exercise, it could well be possible to. If I lose between 2 and 2.5lbs a week, then I could hit 16st, a nice round number (though I'd still have a not so nice round body!) and would be great. But we'll see, I'm not going to officially set myself any goals for it because if I don't meet them, I don't want it to knock my confidence when I start. So I'm just going to do the best that I can do by then and whatever I weigh then, as long as it's less than now, will be good.
I had a really difficult time towards the end of this week. A 5 year, very close friendship had to come to an end and obviously, after 5 years, that was really hard. I'm still not particularly ok about it, though I understand that it had to happen. I'll get there. It did mean that one day, as a bit of a cheer myself up I said that I'd take my niece out for dinner - I was sitting with her because everyone else was out and didn't want her to be by herself all evening. So we went for chinese buffet and I wasn't quite as restrained as I should have been. There wasn't huge damage though so it could have been worse!
Had my weigh in yesterday, did alright but not really the kind of result that I like but after my chinese splurge I probably can't really complain. Lost 1.5lbs, an inch from my hips and half from my waist and back.
Am starting the 30 Day Shred today. It might well kill me though but I've got to at least try it! Will update later on how it goes!
My biggest news of the week is that I got on to my PGCE course!!! So unbelievably stoked about it! Definitely need to keep on with losing weight for when I start. I don't wanna be the fat girl. I want to be thinner, more confident and make friends more easily than before. I start in exactly 16 weeks today. If I lose 2lbs each week, I will hit 231lbs by the 12th of September, so I'd be 16st 7lbs for the start of my course and my birthday 2 days later! Now, I'd like to lose more by then but I don't want to push myself for a harder target. But if I'm upping my exercise, it could well be possible to. If I lose between 2 and 2.5lbs a week, then I could hit 16st, a nice round number (though I'd still have a not so nice round body!) and would be great. But we'll see, I'm not going to officially set myself any goals for it because if I don't meet them, I don't want it to knock my confidence when I start. So I'm just going to do the best that I can do by then and whatever I weigh then, as long as it's less than now, will be good.
I had a really difficult time towards the end of this week. A 5 year, very close friendship had to come to an end and obviously, after 5 years, that was really hard. I'm still not particularly ok about it, though I understand that it had to happen. I'll get there. It did mean that one day, as a bit of a cheer myself up I said that I'd take my niece out for dinner - I was sitting with her because everyone else was out and didn't want her to be by herself all evening. So we went for chinese buffet and I wasn't quite as restrained as I should have been. There wasn't huge damage though so it could have been worse!
Had my weigh in yesterday, did alright but not really the kind of result that I like but after my chinese splurge I probably can't really complain. Lost 1.5lbs, an inch from my hips and half from my waist and back.
Am starting the 30 Day Shred today. It might well kill me though but I've got to at least try it! Will update later on how it goes!
Monday, 16 May 2011
Survived the weekend!
I posted yesterday at how I saw temptation everywhere food wise, yesterday especially. And I really really did. Everything I saw, I wanted. My dad bought some haribo and chocolate white mice to take to a friends house for their kids today and I found myself looking at them thinking, well I could just eat a few, knowing full well that it wouldn't stop there, and then buy a new bag. But I thought no, I won't in case I don't replace them in time. Then I popped to Tesco for a few bits and found myself looking at the calories on all of the packs of sweets there weighing them up but they were still all too high and somehow I found the will power to put them down. Then I did the same with trifle. And a doughnut. And pancakes. And about a million other things. The important thing here though is that I looked at the calories, didn't just put it in my basket, then made the informed decision about them. Somehow that decision was always no!
Something in me really has changed because I don't think that 5 weeks into calorie counting I've ever managed to stay this focused, determined and motivated or had this much willpower before! I'm not complaining of course, just don't know why! Jumped on the scales this morning and they read at 18st 12.5lbs, 0.75lbs down on yesterday so all the reassurance that I need to know I did the right thing yesterday avoiding the chips and other baddies!
Something in me really has changed because I don't think that 5 weeks into calorie counting I've ever managed to stay this focused, determined and motivated or had this much willpower before! I'm not complaining of course, just don't know why! Jumped on the scales this morning and they read at 18st 12.5lbs, 0.75lbs down on yesterday so all the reassurance that I need to know I did the right thing yesterday avoiding the chips and other baddies!
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Today is a haaard day! I guess I should start at the beginning.
After a good week loss wise each day I've been quite looking forward to weighing in today. Final result... 18st 13.25lbs. Is no reason that I should have put on 1/4 of a pound since yesterday but I'll take it. Means I'm 0.25lbs off a full stone off again now. So that wasn't a bad start to the day really, didn't really see any changes except for half an inch off my hips.
But the rest of my day just seems to have gone downhill and I'm in a terrible mood! I don't even know why! I've had the first weekend off in 2 months and every plan I've made as fallen through so I've done nothing with my weekend really, feels like an absolute waste. I'm unlikely to get another one for quite a while, so I'm quite disappointed by that really. And just sick and tired of my job taking away all of my weekends, it's not how it was meant to be, it's not what was discussed at interview.
Popped into a couple of shops today and just keep seeing things that I want to eat. Greggs. Marshmallows. Poppets. Haribo. All the things that I can't have. Or I can but they're so high in calorie that I won't. I'm sick of calorie counting today and just want to eat all the things I shouldn't. At least I said no to chips earlier when my parents got some, could have been the start of a downhill spiral!
I really don't know what's wrong with me today but just not a happy bunny at all but my day started out fine! I think I might just hide myself away today, best all round I think.
After a good week loss wise each day I've been quite looking forward to weighing in today. Final result... 18st 13.25lbs. Is no reason that I should have put on 1/4 of a pound since yesterday but I'll take it. Means I'm 0.25lbs off a full stone off again now. So that wasn't a bad start to the day really, didn't really see any changes except for half an inch off my hips.
But the rest of my day just seems to have gone downhill and I'm in a terrible mood! I don't even know why! I've had the first weekend off in 2 months and every plan I've made as fallen through so I've done nothing with my weekend really, feels like an absolute waste. I'm unlikely to get another one for quite a while, so I'm quite disappointed by that really. And just sick and tired of my job taking away all of my weekends, it's not how it was meant to be, it's not what was discussed at interview.
Popped into a couple of shops today and just keep seeing things that I want to eat. Greggs. Marshmallows. Poppets. Haribo. All the things that I can't have. Or I can but they're so high in calorie that I won't. I'm sick of calorie counting today and just want to eat all the things I shouldn't. At least I said no to chips earlier when my parents got some, could have been the start of a downhill spiral!
I really don't know what's wrong with me today but just not a happy bunny at all but my day started out fine! I think I might just hide myself away today, best all round I think.
Saturday, 14 May 2011
My scales are driving me up the flipping wall! They seem to be so up and down sometimes I never know whether they're giving me a proper result or not! I always put them in exactly the same place and sometimes they're fine and others they play up no end. They aren't cheap ones either, they were like £40!
Today I jumped on and it said 19st 0.75lbs, then again 18st 11.75lbs, then again 18st 13lbs and it gave me that last one 3 or 4 times in a row, so I'm going to go with that for my daily little weight chart. It's just ridiculous though. Why is it so hard to find reliable scales?! I'm really hoping that the 18st 13lbs is a proper result! Because if it is, I'm in the next stone bracket AND I've lost 1 stone in 5 weeks! Weigh in is tomorrow, so it's all unofficial at the moment anyway!
I've been so tired the past 2 days, I'm wondering if I've been over doing it with the exercising, not that I've been exercising that much to be honest. But I'm having to learn that at the time it might not feel like a lot, but those few days afterwards I'll still feel it. I just want to be normal! :(
I've decided to start offering a dog walking service locally. Walking is good, it's not too intense so I can handle it a lot better so it would be a good build up to more exercise. And could be some extra cash, which is always good! Anything that's extra cash and gets me out of this house at the moment has to be a good thing!
Today I jumped on and it said 19st 0.75lbs, then again 18st 11.75lbs, then again 18st 13lbs and it gave me that last one 3 or 4 times in a row, so I'm going to go with that for my daily little weight chart. It's just ridiculous though. Why is it so hard to find reliable scales?! I'm really hoping that the 18st 13lbs is a proper result! Because if it is, I'm in the next stone bracket AND I've lost 1 stone in 5 weeks! Weigh in is tomorrow, so it's all unofficial at the moment anyway!
I've been so tired the past 2 days, I'm wondering if I've been over doing it with the exercising, not that I've been exercising that much to be honest. But I'm having to learn that at the time it might not feel like a lot, but those few days afterwards I'll still feel it. I just want to be normal! :(
I've decided to start offering a dog walking service locally. Walking is good, it's not too intense so I can handle it a lot better so it would be a good build up to more exercise. And could be some extra cash, which is always good! Anything that's extra cash and gets me out of this house at the moment has to be a good thing!
Friday, 13 May 2011
It's falling off!
I'm actually having a really good week this week. I'm managing to stay with things, I'm making good decisions regarding food, I'm avoiding things that don't fit in with my healthy eating, I'm trying to drink more (doing well but need more!) and most importantly, I've stopped snacking!
Jumped on the scales this morning and I'm 19st 0.25lbs, I started the week on Sunday at 19st 3.5lbs so that's 3.25lbs so far with 2 days left to go! Monday I had a STS, since then it's been 0.75lb off every day, 1 day was even 1lb. I mean, I'm not complaining... I want this big fat ass gone as soon as possible! It just seems to be falling off very quickly this week. Maybe I'm just due for a big loss as I had -1lb, then gained 0.5lb from being away not sticking to plan at all then -1.5lbs, so not big losses. Like I said, not complaining just surprised at how good a week it is!
So in 0.5lbs I'll be in the next stone bracket down and in 1.25lbs I'll have lost a stone, in 5 weeks... can't really complain! I'd like to get to 18st 13lbs by Sunday. The way this week has been going it's possible but I don't want to get my hopes up! But if I do, I'll hit the next stone bracket and a full stone lost both at once which would be nice!
I'm working 6pm til 11pm tonight which means I'll be kept busy and won't be too tempted to get snacking which is good. I think today I might either go for a walk or do some more of my exercise DVD. I like going for a walk but I prefer doing it with someone else, or with a dog. I keep trying to persuade my parents to get a dog so I can take it for walks, not sure it's working though!
Jumped on the scales this morning and I'm 19st 0.25lbs, I started the week on Sunday at 19st 3.5lbs so that's 3.25lbs so far with 2 days left to go! Monday I had a STS, since then it's been 0.75lb off every day, 1 day was even 1lb. I mean, I'm not complaining... I want this big fat ass gone as soon as possible! It just seems to be falling off very quickly this week. Maybe I'm just due for a big loss as I had -1lb, then gained 0.5lb from being away not sticking to plan at all then -1.5lbs, so not big losses. Like I said, not complaining just surprised at how good a week it is!
So in 0.5lbs I'll be in the next stone bracket down and in 1.25lbs I'll have lost a stone, in 5 weeks... can't really complain! I'd like to get to 18st 13lbs by Sunday. The way this week has been going it's possible but I don't want to get my hopes up! But if I do, I'll hit the next stone bracket and a full stone lost both at once which would be nice!
I'm working 6pm til 11pm tonight which means I'll be kept busy and won't be too tempted to get snacking which is good. I think today I might either go for a walk or do some more of my exercise DVD. I like going for a walk but I prefer doing it with someone else, or with a dog. I keep trying to persuade my parents to get a dog so I can take it for walks, not sure it's working though!
Thursday, 12 May 2011
Ooh new dress!
I've had a pretty good day today. Managed to stay on track, didn't have anything I shouldn't. Had a bit of Rhubarb Crumble after my dinner but a small portion and all within my daily calories so it's allowed!
Not done so well with drinking today or the past few days really. I'm drinking more than I normally do but still not really enough. I'm working tomorrow night, always seem to drink more when I'm working so hopefully tomorrow I'll get back on track with the drinking.
Went into town this afternoon for a little bit of a wander just for something to do really seeing as I've been off work the past few days. Ended up seeing a really nice dress in one of the shops for only £10. Looked at the sizes - 12, 16, 18. I'm not really sure what size I am at the moment, top end of a 20 probably. Tops I have in 16-20, bottoms vary too but not quite hit 20 there yet. I did try some dresses on in Sainsburys last week though and the 20s fit. So I was faced with the option, don't buy and miss a bargain or buy and slim into. So I went for the second one! Here's the dress...
It's my niece's 18th birthday party on the 23rd of July, so 2 and a half months away almost. My plan is to fit into this dress for that party! Hopefully having this will keep be motivated to keep on track, might keep it hanging on my door to remind me.
Not done so well with drinking today or the past few days really. I'm drinking more than I normally do but still not really enough. I'm working tomorrow night, always seem to drink more when I'm working so hopefully tomorrow I'll get back on track with the drinking.
Went into town this afternoon for a little bit of a wander just for something to do really seeing as I've been off work the past few days. Ended up seeing a really nice dress in one of the shops for only £10. Looked at the sizes - 12, 16, 18. I'm not really sure what size I am at the moment, top end of a 20 probably. Tops I have in 16-20, bottoms vary too but not quite hit 20 there yet. I did try some dresses on in Sainsburys last week though and the 20s fit. So I was faced with the option, don't buy and miss a bargain or buy and slim into. So I went for the second one! Here's the dress...
It's my niece's 18th birthday party on the 23rd of July, so 2 and a half months away almost. My plan is to fit into this dress for that party! Hopefully having this will keep be motivated to keep on track, might keep it hanging on my door to remind me.
Those scales again
I posted the other day about my love hate relationship with the scales. I'm starting to realise that actually, it's more of a love thing than a hate thing now! Before, if I saw it go up or not change I'd get really disheartened and sometimes ended up cheating. Now I'm more like well ok, today/tomorrow I need to work harder, do some exercise etc. It's no longer something to throw me off course, it's something that motivates me to push harder!
I jumped on the scales this morning and they're down from yesterday to ?st 1lbs and it really is such a great feeling and it's definitely something that keeps me going. I'm starting to like what I see, I don't like the stones number but the pounds number is coming down well, less than 2lbs off the next stone down now!
So it's like that little push that I need to keep going, but I think I need to start weighing myself less. I don't do it just once every morning, sometimes I'll do it a few times a day whenever I go into the bathroom. Scales help me but I don't want to become obsessed by them! So I think I need to try and start keeping to once a day each morning.
So I'm now down to ?st 1lbs, that's 2.5lbs from Sunday and 12lbs in total since I started on the 10th of April. To be honest, that's not too great as I had a bit of a dud week where I lost 1lb and then gained 0.5lbs the next week because I didn't calorie count at all. So it's a little annoying that I could already be in the next stone bracket down but hey ho, that's life, learn from it and move on! I've lost 2.5lbs so far this week, I know it's really pushing it but if I could get to 4lbs this week I'd be in the next stone bracket down! I think I might get on with doing some exercise today to try and help! haha
I jumped on the scales this morning and they're down from yesterday to ?st 1lbs and it really is such a great feeling and it's definitely something that keeps me going. I'm starting to like what I see, I don't like the stones number but the pounds number is coming down well, less than 2lbs off the next stone down now!
So it's like that little push that I need to keep going, but I think I need to start weighing myself less. I don't do it just once every morning, sometimes I'll do it a few times a day whenever I go into the bathroom. Scales help me but I don't want to become obsessed by them! So I think I need to try and start keeping to once a day each morning.
So I'm now down to ?st 1lbs, that's 2.5lbs from Sunday and 12lbs in total since I started on the 10th of April. To be honest, that's not too great as I had a bit of a dud week where I lost 1lb and then gained 0.5lbs the next week because I didn't calorie count at all. So it's a little annoying that I could already be in the next stone bracket down but hey ho, that's life, learn from it and move on! I've lost 2.5lbs so far this week, I know it's really pushing it but if I could get to 4lbs this week I'd be in the next stone bracket down! I think I might get on with doing some exercise today to try and help! haha
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Veggie more healthy?
I've been having a think lately about the number of calories in things, it's ridiculous! I've started looking at the calories on everything in the supermarket, even if I don't want them! I've rarely had red meat since I've started this healthy eating, it's just so much more calorific than any white meat, even the lean stuff. I think I've had beef once and that's it! I was in Tesco this lunch time and had a look at the veggie alternatives and they're a lot lower in calories, a lot lower! I ended up buying some meat free meat style balls, sausages, mince. Thought I'd compare them to their meaty cousins.
Meat free meat style balls.... per 100g... 150 calories, 17.1g protein, 6.7g fat (1.4g sat. fat)
Tesco Beef Meatballs... per 100g... 305 calories, 26.9g protein, 18.9g fat (8.2g sat. fat)
Quorn cumberland sausages... 60 calories, 6.2g protein, 2.4g fat (0.3g sat. fat)
Butchers Choice sausages... 128 calories, 6.4g protein, 9.1g fat (3.4g sat. fat)
Light Choices sausage... 73 calories, 9.1g protein, 1.8g fat (0.7g sat. fat)
Quorn mince... per 100g... 71 calories, 10.9g protein, 1.5g fat (0.4g sat. fat)
Light choices... per 100g... 148 calories, 20.4g protein, 7.4g fat (3.5g sat. fat)
So... the verdict is, as a whole the veggie alternatives are a lot better! In terms of sausages its not much difference though, so I'll see how the veggie ones taste. The meat balls is a HUGE difference though. And the mince is a pretty big difference too. Red meat just seems so high in fat. So, I think my decision is that I'm going to use these meat free alternatives a lot more. I won't use them every day, I'd never turn veggie completely! But it'll be nice to break up the turkey and chicken! I think I'm going to start tonight by making a veggie chilli con carne!
Meat free meat style balls.... per 100g... 150 calories, 17.1g protein, 6.7g fat (1.4g sat. fat)
Tesco Beef Meatballs... per 100g... 305 calories, 26.9g protein, 18.9g fat (8.2g sat. fat)
Quorn cumberland sausages... 60 calories, 6.2g protein, 2.4g fat (0.3g sat. fat)
Butchers Choice sausages... 128 calories, 6.4g protein, 9.1g fat (3.4g sat. fat)
Light Choices sausage... 73 calories, 9.1g protein, 1.8g fat (0.7g sat. fat)
Quorn mince... per 100g... 71 calories, 10.9g protein, 1.5g fat (0.4g sat. fat)
Light choices... per 100g... 148 calories, 20.4g protein, 7.4g fat (3.5g sat. fat)
So... the verdict is, as a whole the veggie alternatives are a lot better! In terms of sausages its not much difference though, so I'll see how the veggie ones taste. The meat balls is a HUGE difference though. And the mince is a pretty big difference too. Red meat just seems so high in fat. So, I think my decision is that I'm going to use these meat free alternatives a lot more. I won't use them every day, I'd never turn veggie completely! But it'll be nice to break up the turkey and chicken! I think I'm going to start tonight by making a veggie chilli con carne!
Scales... it's a love hate thing!
I usually weigh myself every day but I'm trying to get out of that habit as I seem to have a love hate relationship with the scales! On one hand, I love seeing them go down. But on the other hand, our weight naturally fluctuates and I hate seeing them go up or stay the same! I also hate weighing in on a monday, having a decent loss and then being disappointed that even though I lost, it wasn't as low as it had been on the scales in the week.
But in a way, they're good at keeping me on track too. I jump on and see it getting lower and that's my motivation for the day. After my fat feeling last night I decided to jump on the scales, realising that this could make or break me today but deciding that even if it wasn't a number that I wanted to see (though I'm far off a number I want to see!) I wouldn't let myself get stressed about it (I did let myself have a little bit of a naughty meal last night, still within calories, but that might have had a temporary effect) and would just use it to motivate myself to try even harder.
So I did jump on and I'm now ?st 1.75lbs! Started at ?st 3.5lbs on Sunday, so that's 1.75lbs in just three days, definitely happy with that! One day I'll have the guts to reveal the ? number, I guess I'm just paranoid in case someone I know somehow finds this as anyone who has ever known my weight has been pretty surprised, not realising it was so high and I'd like to keep those illusions unshattered! haha After what felt like a slow loss last week and a fat day last night, seeing this on the scales has really boosted my confidence, was just what I needed! I'm not counting it as my weigh in though, that's done on Sunday mornings only. I wonder if I could lose another 2lbs by Sunday morning and get into the next stone down! Unlikely but a girl can dream!
I've definitely started my day with a bounce in my step now! I think I'm going to try and do some of my aerobics and pilates DVDs today, I don't have much to do as I'm only working Friday and then not til next weekend! Will make the wait for the results from my interview seem longer! I got a £10 Tesco moneycard for a complaint that I made, so I might take that off to Tesco and see if they sell any hand weights. I'm not sure tins or bottles of water are quite cutting it!
But in a way, they're good at keeping me on track too. I jump on and see it getting lower and that's my motivation for the day. After my fat feeling last night I decided to jump on the scales, realising that this could make or break me today but deciding that even if it wasn't a number that I wanted to see (though I'm far off a number I want to see!) I wouldn't let myself get stressed about it (I did let myself have a little bit of a naughty meal last night, still within calories, but that might have had a temporary effect) and would just use it to motivate myself to try even harder.
So I did jump on and I'm now ?st 1.75lbs! Started at ?st 3.5lbs on Sunday, so that's 1.75lbs in just three days, definitely happy with that! One day I'll have the guts to reveal the ? number, I guess I'm just paranoid in case someone I know somehow finds this as anyone who has ever known my weight has been pretty surprised, not realising it was so high and I'd like to keep those illusions unshattered! haha After what felt like a slow loss last week and a fat day last night, seeing this on the scales has really boosted my confidence, was just what I needed! I'm not counting it as my weigh in though, that's done on Sunday mornings only. I wonder if I could lose another 2lbs by Sunday morning and get into the next stone down! Unlikely but a girl can dream!
I've definitely started my day with a bounce in my step now! I think I'm going to try and do some of my aerobics and pilates DVDs today, I don't have much to do as I'm only working Friday and then not til next weekend! Will make the wait for the results from my interview seem longer! I got a £10 Tesco moneycard for a complaint that I made, so I might take that off to Tesco and see if they sell any hand weights. I'm not sure tins or bottles of water are quite cutting it!
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Fat Day
Today is definitely a fat day. Well, tonight is definitely a fat night. You know those days/nights when you just look at yourself and you're disgusted? Well that's how I feel tonight. I'm disgusting at how horrible I look. I'm disgusted at how fat I am. I'm disgusted that I've let myself get this fat. I'm disgusted that I have left it so long to do something about it. I'm disgusted that I've tried and failed so many times.
It's horrible feeling like this. I wish so much that I could look at myself and be happy with what I see and who I am. But I can't. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. But I want to like me for me, not for what I can be. For what I hopefully will be.
My weight affects so many areas of my life and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having zero self confidence. I'm tired of shutting out any guy that ever shows an interest in me because I think that no-one could ever like me how I am. I tired of constantly feeling so disappointed with myself. I'm tired of not being able to wear all the clothes that I want. I'm tired of not having the life that I want to have.
I know that I'm doing something to fix it all but I just wish that I'd done it long ago, properly. And I wish it didn't take so long. I think I'm going to have a lot of work it do in my head along the way, or I'll always be seeing myself in a fat ugly suit no matter what size/weight I am.
Vent over.
It's horrible feeling like this. I wish so much that I could look at myself and be happy with what I see and who I am. But I can't. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. But I want to like me for me, not for what I can be. For what I hopefully will be.
My weight affects so many areas of my life and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having zero self confidence. I'm tired of shutting out any guy that ever shows an interest in me because I think that no-one could ever like me how I am. I tired of constantly feeling so disappointed with myself. I'm tired of not being able to wear all the clothes that I want. I'm tired of not having the life that I want to have.
I know that I'm doing something to fix it all but I just wish that I'd done it long ago, properly. And I wish it didn't take so long. I think I'm going to have a lot of work it do in my head along the way, or I'll always be seeing myself in a fat ugly suit no matter what size/weight I am.
Vent over.
Just got back from my PGCE interview, felt like such a long day! It wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting to be honest. The group discussion was fine. The presentation and interview went well I think. The English essay went to plan, managed to remember everything that I wanted to write... just hope I wrote the right things! The Maths test was surprisingly easy and to be honest I'd be surprised if I got any of them wrong. So now starts the longest 2 week wait of my life! Going to have to try and keep busy but will be hard when I'm only working 1 day this week and then nothing til next weekend. Isn't like I have oodles of cash going spare to be doing things. Would have been good if I had been going to London this weekend still but ends up being that no-one's around so not really feeling it now to be honest.
Had a pretty good day foodwise I think. Had Special K for breakfast then got lunch at the uni, avoided all the bad options and went for a jacket potato with tuna mayo, though did have cheese with it! Jumped on the scales this morning and down 0.5lb from yesterday, so I'm happy with my progress this week. Just need to keep it up! But for now, think a sleep is in order!
Had a pretty good day foodwise I think. Had Special K for breakfast then got lunch at the uni, avoided all the bad options and went for a jacket potato with tuna mayo, though did have cheese with it! Jumped on the scales this morning and down 0.5lb from yesterday, so I'm happy with my progress this week. Just need to keep it up! But for now, think a sleep is in order!
Monday, 9 May 2011
Turning Point!
I've had a pretty good day and feel like it's been a bit of a turning point for me really. I'll start at the very beginning!
I've always had an up and down relationship with 'dieting'. When I've been living by myself, doing my own food, I've been better. When there's been other people and social eating involved, it's all gone out the window!
I posted about this earlier in another post but this morning my sister asked me if I wanted to go for breakfast. I was going to say no to avoid a food situation, instead I said yes, looked at the menu before hand and chose the healthy option of porridge and when I got there I stuck to it, whilst she ordered a fry up.
This afternoon I had lunch and decided to have some rhubarb crumble my mum made yesterday. I didn't umm and ahh over it, I just chose to have some. BUT I gave myself a sensible portion and stopped when I was full, even though there was some left.
Then tonight, here came the biggy. My parents asked me to go to the chip shop for them to get them their dinner and of course, to get myself whatever I wanted. Straight away I decided not to have it, I was too close to my calories for the day and didn't want to have to do lots of exercise when I need an early night for my PGCE interview tomorrow. So I decided to stick with the plan I'd already made for dinner and to make sure that I didn't change my mind I put my sweet potato in the oven before I left. I thought a little bit on the drive there, wondering if I should just have it anyway but then told myself no, it wasn't worth it and dinner was already on anyway. So I went in, I ordered there dinner and sat waiting for 20 minutes for it to cook and in that entire time didn't even consider ordering myself something and chucking the sweet potato when I got back. So tonight, my mum had fish and chips whilst my dad and sister had pie and chips and I stuck with my baked sweet potato, be good to yourself chicken curry and a little mint raita. I didn't sit there feeling sorry for myself or hard done by, I sat there and really enjoyed my dinner.
Could this be a turning point?! A change in my attitude? Where I now don't always just say I want therefore I will. Or I will just because it's easier. For possibly the first time in my life I turned down something because I actually wanted to, I actually wanted to have the healthier option. I wanted to not put this weeks loss on the line. The only time I ever did that before was once at a family meal when I was on the Cambridge Diet, they had a roast dinner and I made myself a chicken salad with a little of the chicken and sat at the same table with them, hating every second of it, feeling the odd one out, feeling hard done by. For the first time it's not been I HAVE to do this, it's been I WANT to. And it felt bloody amazing!
Anyway, long post over! I'm off to have a bath and get an early night before my interview tomorrow.
I've always had an up and down relationship with 'dieting'. When I've been living by myself, doing my own food, I've been better. When there's been other people and social eating involved, it's all gone out the window!
I posted about this earlier in another post but this morning my sister asked me if I wanted to go for breakfast. I was going to say no to avoid a food situation, instead I said yes, looked at the menu before hand and chose the healthy option of porridge and when I got there I stuck to it, whilst she ordered a fry up.
This afternoon I had lunch and decided to have some rhubarb crumble my mum made yesterday. I didn't umm and ahh over it, I just chose to have some. BUT I gave myself a sensible portion and stopped when I was full, even though there was some left.
Then tonight, here came the biggy. My parents asked me to go to the chip shop for them to get them their dinner and of course, to get myself whatever I wanted. Straight away I decided not to have it, I was too close to my calories for the day and didn't want to have to do lots of exercise when I need an early night for my PGCE interview tomorrow. So I decided to stick with the plan I'd already made for dinner and to make sure that I didn't change my mind I put my sweet potato in the oven before I left. I thought a little bit on the drive there, wondering if I should just have it anyway but then told myself no, it wasn't worth it and dinner was already on anyway. So I went in, I ordered there dinner and sat waiting for 20 minutes for it to cook and in that entire time didn't even consider ordering myself something and chucking the sweet potato when I got back. So tonight, my mum had fish and chips whilst my dad and sister had pie and chips and I stuck with my baked sweet potato, be good to yourself chicken curry and a little mint raita. I didn't sit there feeling sorry for myself or hard done by, I sat there and really enjoyed my dinner.
Could this be a turning point?! A change in my attitude? Where I now don't always just say I want therefore I will. Or I will just because it's easier. For possibly the first time in my life I turned down something because I actually wanted to, I actually wanted to have the healthier option. I wanted to not put this weeks loss on the line. The only time I ever did that before was once at a family meal when I was on the Cambridge Diet, they had a roast dinner and I made myself a chicken salad with a little of the chicken and sat at the same table with them, hating every second of it, feeling the odd one out, feeling hard done by. For the first time it's not been I HAVE to do this, it's been I WANT to. And it felt bloody amazing!
Anyway, long post over! I'm off to have a bath and get an early night before my interview tomorrow.
Resisting temptation!
Got a text from my sister this morning asking if I wanted to go for breakfast. Breakfast always means the same thing... Wetherspoons traditional cooked breakfast. At first I tried to think of an excuse not to go but then I thought actually, why should I? This 'change of lifestyle' isn't about avoiding all food situations, it's about changing my habits and my attitudes. Am I going to avoid going out for a meal for the rest of my life? No! So I need to learn how to make healthier choices so I took a look at the menu online.
To be honest, I was gobsmacked at the calories in everything...
Beans on toast... 530 calories
Scrambled egg on toast... 503 calories
The breakfast bloomer... 912 calories!!!
Nothing was any good really, the pancakes were 675 without the bacon and the breakfast roll 416. The traditional breakfast that I normally have is 891 calories, I'd never realised how bad it was! I kept looking at them and thinking, do I really want to use that many of my daily calories on that? I realised that actually I didn't. There were two healthy options, fruit salad and yoghurt or porridge with strawberry and blueberry compote. So I went for the second one, a yummy far healthier option at only 257 calories, a fraction of the others.
The thing with these things is that although I had decided on the healthy option before didn't mean that I'd stick with it once I got there! But surprisingly I did, didn't even consider getting anything else. So whilst my sister sat and ate her traditional breakfast, I had my porridge and tea and actually really enjoyed it. And now I don't have to try and last the rest of the day on 300 calories, I've got over 900 instead! Let's hope this continued resisting willpower continues!
Now have to finish preparing for my PGCE interview tomorrow. Then I think I'm going to do a little of my aerobics and pilates DVDs and head over to my sisters. Need to drop my nieces birthday present off from the weekend!
To be honest, I was gobsmacked at the calories in everything...
Beans on toast... 530 calories
Scrambled egg on toast... 503 calories
The breakfast bloomer... 912 calories!!!
Nothing was any good really, the pancakes were 675 without the bacon and the breakfast roll 416. The traditional breakfast that I normally have is 891 calories, I'd never realised how bad it was! I kept looking at them and thinking, do I really want to use that many of my daily calories on that? I realised that actually I didn't. There were two healthy options, fruit salad and yoghurt or porridge with strawberry and blueberry compote. So I went for the second one, a yummy far healthier option at only 257 calories, a fraction of the others.
The thing with these things is that although I had decided on the healthy option before didn't mean that I'd stick with it once I got there! But surprisingly I did, didn't even consider getting anything else. So whilst my sister sat and ate her traditional breakfast, I had my porridge and tea and actually really enjoyed it. And now I don't have to try and last the rest of the day on 300 calories, I've got over 900 instead! Let's hope this continued resisting willpower continues!
Now have to finish preparing for my PGCE interview tomorrow. Then I think I'm going to do a little of my aerobics and pilates DVDs and head over to my sisters. Need to drop my nieces birthday present off from the weekend!
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Weigh In
Just weighed in, bit disappointed to be honest. Lost 1.5lbs this week taking me down to 9.5lbs lost in total. It's a decent loss, especially when I've had more cake-y biscuit-y things than I should have but other than that I've tried quite hard, I've been trying to drink more and exercise more and it just feels like a small loss. Especially when I've seen lower on the scales this week - on Tuesday I weighed in 1.25lbs lighter than I have today. It may well be a slight retention because of something I've eaten or something, I don't know. Or maybe I put it back on, though I stuck to my calories on Friday and Saturday which is what confuses me. Oh well, mustn't get disheartened, I'm still getting there, albeit slowly! I've lost some inches too, 1in off my waist, 0.5in off my hips and 1in off my back. This technically means I've gone up a cup size, woo! Though, I'm at the annoying point between cup sizes and between back sizes but it's ok because I don't really plan on buying much in the way of new bras or clothes along the way. I'll stick with what I've got until I have to change, then I'll get a few bits and have a small but useful wardrobe! I just don't want to be investing on clothes which will eventually be too big and never fit me again!
Anyway, onwards and upwards today (apart from the scales, they're only going downwards from now on!!). I'm going to do 20 minutes of my aerobics DVD and 10 minutes of my pilates I think, then grab some breakfast and it'll be time to have a shower and get to work probably. Long shift today in the kitchen, which I always hate. I get a free lunch because I'm working, I think I'm going to pass on the roast though and ask if I can just have a jacket potato and the veg from the roast. I've seen how much oil goes on those roast potatoes!
Good luck to all my loser friends today, let's do this thing!
Anyway, onwards and upwards today (apart from the scales, they're only going downwards from now on!!). I'm going to do 20 minutes of my aerobics DVD and 10 minutes of my pilates I think, then grab some breakfast and it'll be time to have a shower and get to work probably. Long shift today in the kitchen, which I always hate. I get a free lunch because I'm working, I think I'm going to pass on the roast though and ask if I can just have a jacket potato and the veg from the roast. I've seen how much oil goes on those roast potatoes!
Good luck to all my loser friends today, let's do this thing!
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